


for dreams are just like wine, and i am drunk with mine

by derogatory



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Canon, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-05
Updated: 2007-04-05
Packaged: 2018-08-23 07:00:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8318335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/derogatory/pseuds/derogatory
Summary: five love confessions Tamaki was unprepared for





	

**Author's Note:**

> this was written in 2007 so it doesnt match how the canon ended at all, no one can fault me for it

1\.   
The first time, he's only sorry.

"Don't be!" his mother quieted a laugh when he clutched at her. "It isn't such a terrible thing- to be admired so much. The way you are, there will always be many people will love you," she whispered, tucking a lock off his hair behind a tiny ear. "You just need to treat them kindly, because they will be helpless against you. Oh, Tamaki. Tamaki, don't cry."

 

 

 

2\.   
The Host Club ill-prepared him for confessions outside of a comfortable setting, outside of happy occasions. 

"I'm allowing you to return to see your wife." Tamaki's constant posturing to please her alerts him to when his Grandmother is through compromising. He can still be aware of those things, when all his other sensations have gone numb. "Isn't that enough generosity for you?"

"And I am grateful for it, Mother. However, it's more important Tamaki is by her side right now." As his father speaks, Tamaki looks to the clock. The Host Club is opening in a half an hour. He hopes Mori remembers to move the extra chairs in from the side room. The twins will keep his clients occupied if he's very late. 

"Your son has done everything to ensure she will be taken care of." The tea is taken away, although she was the only one capable of drinking. "He is not as free as you are." 

"Don't worry about me," Tamaki smiles across the room that divided their family. "You need to go. Mother will be happy to see you at last." Tamaki is seven years old again, penning letters in broken Japanese. _Father, please come to France. My mother is very sick._ He never did. When Tamaki came to Japan, he finally realized why his father couldn't come see them. Ten years later and she's relapsing and everything they worked through with high quality care and abandonment has only brought them full circle. 

When his father leaves, Tamaki bows his head to the woman. "Thank you."

"When a mother is that dear to you, losing her can be quite traumatic," she assures him as the attendants showed him the door. His time in that mansion was usually brief. "Luckily you won't have to witness that." If both Tamaki and his father went to France, it would create another family separate from Grandmother. Tamaki thanks her again and shakes off the distractions for the daily club activities. He's always been a sucker for stories about families being split up, and even a mansion apart he knows when someone else is afraid of being left behind.

 

 

 

3\.   
With the Suou family's fatalistic view of things, of Tamaki’s own state of grief, their logical next move is marriage. It's a fine combatant against isolation and loneliness, although Tamaki is sure he feels neither of those things. 

It's nice to speak French again, though. 

"And if I am in love with you?" Éclair counters gift civility with slow sneers. She's the same girl he always remembers and could never dislike. "What if all your charity amounts to nothing, and the man I decide to marry really is you?" 

"Well, by then we will hardly be strangers," Tamaki assures his fiancée, reaching across the table for her hand. She finishes her drink and doesn't accept it. 

Tamaki had explained upon her second visit to Japan, that as long as she remained engaged to him, her family wouldn't force her to marry someone else. She could use this time, their long engagement to look for someone she really loved. With Éclair's critical eye, her unfaltering obedience and narrowed scope of where her life could go if not exactly how everyone prepared it for her-- Tamaki can see why Grandmother chose her. 

A year and a half later, stuck in their respective countries, she meets Jean-Pierre. The old friend pleads, "Tamaki-kun, I really love her." and Tamaki cries across the long distance line and congratulates the both of them until he's hoarse. 

The thank you card for the wedding crystal comes back with a faded picture of a beautiful blonde woman, tired and familiar and gone, sitting beside a piano. The back of it reads in Éclair’s uncertain kana, "Remember I taught you how to be selfish."

 

 

 

4\.   
As fatalistic as is possible, then Haruhi becomes engaged. Tamaki never had a problem with alcohol before, but all of a sudden he takes too much with the dinner that follows his daughter's announcement. He isn't supposed to drive (even though he obtained a license years before on a whim- a commoner fancy) and it isn't so much an accident as a public disturbance. When the police arrive Tamaki is grieving the lamppost and apologetically pushing money into the hands of any onlooker.

Knees bruised and neck aching, Tamaki staggers against his friend's shoulder on their way out of the station. The effects of alcohol are wearing off and embarrassment is shuddering in. Ridiculous monetary amounts weigh heavily in the back of his mind when he recalls how Kyouya drew out his wallet without being prompted by the officers.

"I'm sorry," he slurs.

Kyouya holds the limo door open for him, "It's only money." 

 

 

 

5\.   
And then they marry, every one of them (though it took Hikaru two tries to get it right. Tamaki had a tough time swallowing the idea of divorce) and often it went through without incident. Tamaki made sure to say something perfect at every ceremony (both of Hikaru's). For example; at the end of Kyouya’s reception, the first wedding after Haruhi’s, Tamaki confides the wisdom he learned before they buried his mother, "The older we get, the more afraid we are of being apart." 

Kyouya regarded him with a slow smile. "Haruhi says you call her once a week, Tamaki. You've got nothing to be afraid of."

They have children. Tamaki works hard to teach his Japanese. It doesn't take easily and there's always a debate about teaching five year old girls to talk like feudal lords, but he makes flashcards and conversation tapes all the same. It's dangerous to let twins have free time, he insists and his wife doesn't smile, wry and tentative about the country of his youth. He shows off his calligraphy abilities until he's ruined a tablecloth and she's more angry with her own laughter than his theatrics. 

He tries to avoid teaching the girls how to say they hate things. They can learn that later. For now he teaches them to say the truth. They love sweet things, they love lilacs, they love birds. I love everything, one sibling says after ten minutes of practice. Her sister agrees. They wander to their mother, papa is being weird again, make him stop crying. 

She takes the girls into her arms and adjusts the bows in their hair, exasperated, "And he's gotten ink on your ribbons too. What a useless man."


End file.
